The best junk email I have ever received

Ok, I’ve been horrifically neglectful of my blog recently, and I’m planning posts on sock puppeting, the Strange Bedfellows project and my first experience of scriptwriting, the first of which will go up in the next couple of days. But for now, this junk email I received made me laugh so hard that I choked and started wheezing like an epileptic walrus, so I just wanted to share it with the world. Form an orderly queue, ladies.
Nathan Kiganda kiganda49@live.com
14:18 (19 hours ago)

to undisclosed recipients
Dear friendThis is to introduce to you my Presidential Marriage Insurance Project.This project has been in place for now 17 years.As you are already aware my future ambition is to become President but i cant succeed without a firm foundation and your support.I have dedicated my future marriage prospects to building a firm politcal foundation for myself and that’s why i called itMy Presidential Marriage Insurance.My Presidential Marriage Insurance started way back in 1995 when i was still a student at Mbale Secodary School and it has been all along running upto now.This programme was very active at Kiira College Butiki,Makerere University,Delhi University and in all the areas i have been to.

In 2007 i added more vigour to this programme by including it in my Biography,a book that i myself wrote and sent to President George Walker Bush of the the United States of America for Publication.In 2008 i designed a concept paper which has been acting as a guide line to this project.In 2009 i enlarged the concept paper and transformed it into a booklet which will soon be published.

You could be a pressman, a politician or president, religious leader, Ambassador or a useful citzen but the most most important thing that i need from you is support.Your support is very very paramount towards the success of this programme.I am not yet married and am still searching for the most suitable patner.I am still single and infact i don’t even have any serious girlfriend.

Previously, i had girlfriends i had considered for this programme but i have taken over 8 to 10 years without seeing some of them and so they only remained my girlfriends in words but not in reality.I am alone and my heart is yearning for miss right and it is the reason why i am searching. I am in Love, therefore my door is wide open for any body who is interested.

I need a lady who is between the age of 18 and 25, however those exceeding 25 but below 30 years of age are also acceptable if they meet the set requirements.I need a lady who is intelligent,ethical,trustworthy,caring,Loving,Supportive and with good moral conduct in the society.She must be beautiful with a figure 8 shape, an attractive face ,a soft and killing voice.She must be an Orator or a good public speaker.The desired lady should be highly educated with atleast a bachelors Degree or should be an undergraduate student at any given University.Mother Africa is a continent of honour therefore her dressing code should depict a lady of honour.I need a lady who puts on trendy but descent clothes that can earn her respect and honour in the society.The cosmetic makeup on her body and hair should also depict a lady of honour ,respect and Dignity.

You can participate in this programme in a number of ways.You can recommend your most beautiful sister, relative or friend or yourself if you meet the set standards.You can also participate as volunteer in spreading this message or you can contribute assets such as car,Land,Camera, house etc,gifts or some money ,academic scholarship,foreign tour/travel sponsorship for two people etc towards the success of this programme.I need you for you are my success.Together we can succeed.Please forward this message to a friend, a relative or any other person.

May God bless you,

For God and My Country.

Kiganda Nathan
Tel: 256 78 2 230826
Email: kigandanathan@yahoo.com.

NB:I sent a copy of the Concept Paper on my presidential Marriage Insurance to President George Walker Bush when he was still at White House.

Money contributions should be made to;
ACCOUNT NAME: Kiganda Nathan
ACCOUNT NUMBER:1004100269906
ACCOUNT TYPE: Savings
BANK: Equity Bank Uganda Limited
Swift Code:EQBLUGKA.

MY PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGE INSURANCE

This refers to the ways means and choice of marriage partner in preparation for my my future political career of becoming president .It involves the search for the most suitable lady with the desired qualifications and requirements.It is a sheme that has been designed to build a solid foundation for the future first family.

MISSION
To build a solid foundation of Peace,Love, Unity, Leadership,Joy and Happiness for an examplary first Family.

AIMS AND OBJECTIVES OF THE PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGE INSURANCE SCHEME.
1-To select/get the most suitable marriage partner with the desired qualifications and requirements.
2-To prepare, train and bring up a future first lady .
3-To avoid future cases of marital instabilities within the first family.
4-To improve on my Social and Political position/Image in Uganda and the World over.
5-To pave ways of improving and building a viable personal financial base/stand for myself with a view of being self reliant and independent.
6-To promote civilized and positive cultural practices with a view of building a united and peaceful nation.
7-To promote literacy and higher level education .
8-To prepare and plan for all my marriage related ceremonies and obligations.
9-To provide an alternative to military force as a means of ascending to political Power.
10-To promote God’s creating abilities and values as he wished them to happen in their natural state.
11-To promote peace ,love,Unity,Good governance,Joy and happiness in our Nation.
12-To build a solid foundation for an increased role of the first lady in public and Social Affairs.

Kiganda Nathan
Tel: 256 78 2230826
Email: kigandanathan@yahoo.com
kiganda49@live.com
NB:Check my recent picture from the above attachments.Take time to read through the information in the attachments to this email message.Picture Kiganda Nathan.jpg (in Kanzu was taken on 2 April 2011 at Kansanga Kampala and picture 004.jpg the most recent was taken on 18. February 2012 outside Mengo Teachers Union Hall during a wedding reception for one of my relatives.

NB. I  am currently at  Bunga  Kampala-Uganda and teaching at Trinity Secondary School,Katimbo zone,Kirombe-Nanganda Lukuli, Makindye Division,Kampala,Uganda.

19 attachments — Download all attachments   View all images
Kiganda Nathan.jpeg Kiganda Nathan.jpeg
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Kiganda Nathan.JPG Kiganda Nathan.JPG
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Picture 004.jpg Picture 004.jpg
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THE FOOD PROBLEM.doc THE FOOD PROBLEM.doc
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THE POLITICAL NATURE OF MAN.ppt THE POLITICAL NATURE OF MAN.ppt
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LOVE.doc LOVE.doc
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SEX.doc SEX.doc
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A CALL FOR ACTION.doc A CALL FOR ACTION.doc
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THE PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGE INSURANCE AND CULTURE.doc THE PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGE INSURANCE AND CULTURE.doc
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Destructive Philosophy is killing our People.docx Destructive Philosophy is killing our People.docx
17K   View   Download
SEX MARRIAGE AND THE FOOD PROBLEM.docx SEX MARRIAGE AND THE FOOD PROBLEM.docx
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EDUCATION.docx EDUCATION.docx
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BEAUTY.doc BEAUTY.doc
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VOLUNTARY LEAVE.doc VOLUNTARY LEAVE.doc
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THE ROLE OF THE PRESIDENT.docx THE ROLE OF THE PRESIDENT.docx
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IS IT NECESSARY FOR THE PRESIDENT TO MARRY.docx IS IT NECESSARY FOR THE PRESIDENT TO MARRY.docx
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THE NELSON MUKASA FAMILY.docx THE NELSON MUKASA FAMILY.docx
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MY PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGE INSURANCE.docx MY PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGE INSURANCE.docx
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KIGANDA NATHAN,FAMILY TREE.doc KIGANDA NATHAN,FAMILY TREE.doc
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